She had had her time of the duds, and kicking to the curb type of guys, so she set off to find herself on her own and three years later she met this man.
It was instant attraction, what was hours felt like days. What was weeks felt like years. It was the heart felt love that she always believed she would have. It was magical, it was wonderful and it felt safe.
So they decided to get married… for the first two years it was grand.
Then things started to change slowly.
It became strained. It became dark and even though love was still there, it was more hurt and pain than anything. But she swallowed her pride and said “It’s OK, marriage is an honour and I need to keep honouring this. He will see my love…. I’m sure he will”
She tried everything she could think of to fix it. She tried to show him the light. How it’s so much better being on that side. But it was a constant battle. She would become brighter, he would become darker. She would lift him up – he would bring her down.
Around 6 years had passed and every day her light became a bit dimmer. She had exhausted all of her options and couldn’t see a way out.
After 7 years she had emotionally disconnected and distanced herself to keep safe. With her light dimming inside of her day by day.
Then one day she woke up and saw… this is not the life I want. She had been through two miscarriages and knew things needed to change. So she set herself a goal to achieve that blew her head off and scared the shit out of her.
To enter a body building competition.
So off she set. Dedicating herself to this 110%. She lived, breathed and immersed herself in the gym. She had nothing else that brought her joy.
Slowly she started to loose weight… slowly she began to see her greatness again. She kept going hard. She had 8 months to get ready and she was going for it. Until it was one month out from competition and she had to loose 12kgs. But her body wouldn’t let her. She had already lost 16kgs. But for some reason she just couldn’t do it. So she listened to her body and took the stress off. Said “no I’m not competing, it’s too much stress for my body.” Then relaxed into her life.
But she kept up the exercises because it made her feel good. She realised It helped her shine her light little by little every day.
While this was happening she and her husband were growing apart day by day. He didn’t notice her anymore. Even though she had lost over 16kgs, he didn’t see her.
That’s when she knew something wasn’t right. She knew his attention was elsewhere. What she didn’t know was with who?
Now this woman’s intuition was on point. It was so much so she used it in her business. It helped many many people out there who needed her guidance. So why wasn’t see using her for herself? When she knew something wasn’t right. It was because she was allowing self doubt to take over. Not wanting to see the truth, as the truth would hurt.
So she asked…. she asked for guidance from spirit, her angels, assessed masters, the archangels and anyone else listening. To show her. Show her why she kept getting these messages and images. Show her why she was feeling like she was. Why was she still unhappy.
Because for the first time in her life she had taken her own happiness into hands through accomplishing something so huge on her own. She had never done that before because her self confidence was nearly non-existent.
After she asked the question she got shown. All evidence was given to her on a golden platter. Served with ease.
It took awhile for her husband to admit what he had been doing. But for her she knew this was the final end. This time the door was closed for good. After the anger wore off she sobbed. Sobbed 7 years of strength, pain, love, happiness, anger, sorrow and low self worth….She sobbed it all away.
For 2 months he tried every way of manipulation he could think of to win her back. But her heart was closed shut for good. It was now her time to heal. It was her time.
Meanwhile she was still going to the gym and had got herself a full time job so she could look after herself easily.
Life had presented her with amazing abundance and joy and love and that’s how she knew this was the right decision.
One of the last things she received from her husband was a gift voucher for Christmas from a sports store. So she waited until the sales were on and decided to get herself some shoes. She got shoes because it was her way of reminding herself of the path she had walked, and that this is now the new path to walk.
To always walk forward with ease and grace. To not look back and to be reminded that every step forward is a step away from what was.
4 months on and she is still on the path of healing. She will always be forever grateful for this lesson in love. It showed her to always love fiercely even in times of uncertainty. To always love yourself first. Because love concurs all. Love is the end result to happiness. That kind of love only comes from you to you.
“If you don’t love yourself wholeheartedly, no one else will. As nothing is promised to you forever. Even marriage.”
Now she is walking with her head high, empowered and knowing that all her dreams she has ever wanted will soon come true.
Walking in her new shoes, shining brightly, one step closer to her true self.