It first starts off at… what are you doing?… to… who are you with? To why are you not spending time with me?
To neediness, to message after message.
Pulling, tugging, scratching at you for your attention.
At first it’s harmless. You see it as cute. It’s ok, they are showing me they love me.
It then becomes as you are hurting them. By not doing what they want. So you respond as quickly as you can. You do whatever you can to keep them happy. To keep them quiet.
You make sure you keep to your timeframe. So you don’t upset them. Because upsetting them, upsets you.
It then turns to jealousy, and accusations of going to places or seeing people that you are hiding from them. Which turns into fighting for your truth…. But they never believe you.
You can’t have alone time! They are always pointing the finger at you saying “What do you mean? You have to attend to me. Just me!!”
You get tired of the fights, so you decide it’s easier to just stay home with them. Never mind what you feel like doing. Never mind about your loved ones that you never see anymore. Never mind any of those beautiful actions that fill you up.
Never mind you are drowning in their need of being number one. Being in control of your actions. Your choices and essentially your dreams.
It begins as a simple gesture at first, but it then turns into the most manipulative control.
From mind games, to guilt trips. To belittling to emotional blackmail. To threats.
It’s all forms of control! To turn you inside out. Upside down and split you sideways. It’s caused to bruise your heart. So they can feel better about themselves.
Why?
Just so they can keep you.
Keep you small. Keep you to them. To keep you from shining brighter. Keeping you little so their ego gets to blow up even bigger.
Control is nothing more than to make them feel superior to you. To make them feel powerful. And to take your power away, to make you feel powerless.
So you will always rely on them.
But the truth of it all… is that they are the ones that are powerless. Who need you. To keep them strong.
No one can control you but you.
© Monique Vette 2019
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