There came a time when I had hit a bump in the road. Which lead to another and another and the more I journeyed down it. The more the bump got bigger and bigger. Until I flew off it, into a sea of fog.
The fog was my mental state. I couldn't see through it, past it and even understand how I had got to this point.
It was confusing and a place I had never reached before.
All I could see were my feet. So slowly and steadily I put one foot in front of the other. Not knowing where to go or what to do.
I felt alone, scared and most of all empty.
I couldn't talk about it, because I didn't know what it was. I couldn't reach out to anyone and say, hey I think there is something wrong with me.
I couldn't because I didn't know I had PTSD. Eventually finding out that it was actually CPTSD.
You see when you get to this point, you have no idea where, what or who you are. What you're doing or if you even exist.
It's like being in a bad dream, that never stops. One that engulfed you. Not allowing you to wake up and truly live life.
It's exactly like fog. Taking over every space you have.
I knew there was a better life awaiting me. I also knew that the women at the end of this journey was more powerful than I had ever imagined. Holding her hand out to me, saying come... come this way.
You have two choices in life. To make something of what you have, or let it slip away. It's up to you to make that first choice.
I know what its like to walk this path. I've been through it. It wasn't nice, and its also not a badge of honour.
It was painful, it was horrendous and I felt like I had lived 1000 lifetimes before popping out the other end of it.
What I do know, is that all the tools I used along the way helped me to heal naturally from CPTSD, and I want to share these with you. If I can do this, anyone can.
Sign up to my email list and lets connect.
Look forward to seeing you there.
Monique
Comments